I try to go for a walk every day, I have a route I take, changing the start and end line each time. Last week I took a wee diversion to shop and was continuing home when I saw a man crossing the road. He looked fine, until he didn’t. Just as he reached the sidewalk he stumbled, tried to grab a post and fell onto his back. He managed to keep his head up, but looked shaken and uncomfortable. As I reached him he was trying to put his mask back on, it had slipped in his fall. He was slightly unkempt, his beard needed trimming, but his clothes were clean, if a bit worn. I stopped and asked if he was okay, difficult from above, trying to keep a distance and wearing masks. As he reached for his hat that had fallen in his tumble, he said no, I then asked if he needed help, and as he tried to rise, he said yes, he couldn’t seem to get up.
I looked around at the many people, hurrying around, some staring with curiosity, not willing to offer help, others stoutly looking ahead, and it struck me at how judgemental we as humans are. Here was a man, who had fallen, yes in a city with a lot of street people, however he was obviously in trouble, yet no-one else was willing to lend a hand, in fact in my judgement most of those passing by were going to a lot of trouble to avoid being asked to help. My mobile was out of power, I listen to stories when I walk and because of my extra-long walk I had run out of power a kilometer or so back. I wanted to keep him talking, because even though I hadn’t seen him hit his head, he may have, and could have been concussed.
I kept talking to him all the while watching those around me, asking what is the problem? I often chat to others, whether they’re asking me for directions or make a comment, it doesn’t matter who they are, they are all like me, maybe with less advantages or opportunities, but they’re individuals, some who despite their circumstances are quite charming and funny! I’m not out there drumming up conversations on the street, however when someone asks me for money, or calls out a compliment, or makes a remark, it seems rude not to answer back. I’ve had wonderful conversations with both men and women, everyone has a story.
It seems sad that because of fear or judgement we cannot lend a hand when needed. I remember repeating the mantra all parents say to their children ‘don’t talk to strangers’, and my kids would answer ‘you do, all the time!’, and so I would explain about the good and bad of doing so. However, it seems sometimes as adults we carry that mantra too far. How much does it cost to throw a kind word to a homeless person, or respond to the remark thrown out in jest? Have we so lost our humanity that anyone who doesn’t fit our version of ‘the right people’ is not worthy of an act of kindness, or do we feel that because we take our no longer wanted clothing to the thrift store that we have done our bit? In these times of fear, and isolation, a few words and acts of kindness go a long way to supporting those in need.
Back to my story, I stopped a young man wearing the name tag of the hotel across the street, and asked him to call the ambulance, he did so. We were able to give them the information they needed and they came down to help. At this stage I left, no longer needed and walked home wondering about the lack of help, thinking of my stumbles sometimes when I’m tired, would anyone stop to help me if I fell over? Gary, for that was his name, didn’t smell of alcohol, and there was nothing that shouted to me, step away, I was a few seconds in walking up to him so there was a very short time between his fall and me coming up to him, and yet no one stopped to check if he needed help. If we’ve learned nothing else this year, it is that changes happen, fast and unexpected. All of us have endured challenges, some of us have weathered them better than others, we all could do with a kind word, support. So, hug those you love, check in with them often, and when you meet that guy in the street, obviously homeless, maybe addicted, rather than judge, give him your change, or a hamburger, find compassion and thank your god that you are okay…
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